Natasha Graziano Helps Us Attract A More Positive Mindset
Today, we have the great honor of sitting down with world-renowned mindset coach, the powerful and inspiring Natasha Graziano.
Ranked #1 female motivational speaker under 40 in the world by Forbes magazine and Business Insider, Natasha is one of the most influential thought leaders of our generation.
She’s passionate about helping people transform their lives and does so through her MBS method, which combines neuroscience and ancient breathing techniques.
Tune in as she shares an unbelievable journey starting out as a single mom without a roof over her head to becoming a best-selling author, meeting the love of her life, acquiring 11 million Instagram followers and moving to the U.S. to grow her business and following in just 4 years’ time.
Her determination, work ethic and brand savviness has made her a mogul in the industry, and an up-and-coming entrepreneur who will soon be a household name.
In this Episode
[01:26] Jason introduces Natasha Graziano by listing her accomplishments and her use of the law of attraction to manifest continued success. Natasha explains the rules of this law and the reasons she landed in Los Angeles after deciding to move to the US.
[04:16] Natasha shares the method she used to call in her husband after being a homeless single mom. Jason recalls a similar experience with his wife. The conversation then shifts to their mutual love for Denzel Washington’s unforgettable commencement speech.
[08:37] Jason confirms that Natasha grew up in the UK. She reminisces on growing up in the countryside, being a rebellious teenager, and being instilled with tenacity and drive to pursue her early passions of dance and gymnastics.
[11:09] Natasha remembers her early aspiration to become a professional dancer, and running away because of her parents’ conflicting expectations for her career. Jason recommends a TED Talk about raising our children to be entrepreneurs.
[13:03] Jason reads Natasha’s quote, “80% is in your mindset and 20% is in your action.” They talk about tough times in their lives, and how they were able to overcome them by remembering to be grateful and accept the support from family and friends.
[17:22] Natasha breaks down her evening and morning routines. She focuses on meditating and aligning herself with the five most important things in her life. She also believes that the specific way you were born can affect the energy you possess.
[22:51] Natasha gets vulnerable about the lowest she’s ever felt, the illness that slowed her down, and gaining inspiration from authors like Napoleon Hill and Joseph Murphy, and creating her “MBS Method” to empower the mind. Jason reiterates the idea of “making your mess your message,” and they talk about their mutual friend, David Meltzer.
[29:10] Natasha expounds on her MBS method and guides Jason through a breathing exercise to show him how it helps her meditate and bring about tranquility. She emphasizes how breathing exercises can bring about many benefits, such as feeling grounded and energized.
[35:09] Natasha gives us a glance into her latest book, “Be It Until You Become It.” She summarizes how you can use your mind to boost your confidence, realize your goals, and why you should move the book up on your to-read list.
[47:48] Jason and Natasha decide to hold each other accountable for the books they plan to write in order to leave their imprint in this world. Natsha would like to write a book a year, and Jason has an idea of his next book, called “Glimpse” in mind.
[51:03] Natasha is intrigued by the games on the podcast table and they play a game of word association with balls inscribed with inspirational words. This leads them to a conversation about how the best ideas come while taking a shower.
[55:22] Jason asks Natasha to give us tips about how to manifest love in our lives, using the techniques she swears by. She emphasizes the importance of using the “Five Pillars” and using neuroscience and our five senses to bring our desires to fruition.
[01:00:44] Jason is interested in hearing more about the neuroscience behind rewiring your mind, and Natasha geeks out explaining concepts about neuroplasticity and how our reticular activating system can help us change our belief system, and thus, our reality.
[01:03:14] During our signature segment of “Hennessey Heart-to-Heart,” we listen as Natasha reflects on what she thinks the world needs, her thoughts on parenthood, her childhood, being multilingual, the message she’d give to world leaders, plus much more.
[01:17:50] Jason encourages listeners to follow Natasha on Instagram and read her book, Be It Until You Become It, for continual inspiration as they bring today’s episode to a close.
Transcript
Jason Hennessey: Natasha Graziano, it’s such a pleasure having you. My listeners are certainly in for a treat.
I’m just looking over your bio here and there’s so much to it. Ranked #1 female motivational speaker under 40 by Forbes magazine, author of The Action Plan: The Law of Attraction, that’s a big deal for you, huh?
Natasha Graziano: A big deal. I love it, passionately.
For those that don’t know what the “law of attraction” is, fill us in.
Okay. Where do I start?
The law of attraction is one of these things, Jason, that’s happening whether you like it or not. It’s happening all around you. It’s like it’s here. It’s going on.
It’s the law that’s in action.
Yes.
So, the thing to understand is, your thoughts become things. What you think about becomes your reality. What you feel about becomes your reality. Your thoughts become your feelings. Your feelings become your habits, and you are your habits.
You are your habits.
See, I’m a big fan. I live my whole life by the law of attraction and love energy. There’s positive, negative energy, and done a lot of research on you. I know that’s the whole world that you live, too.
You wake up with a full tank of gas, right?
Oh, yes.
You could choose to use your energy in a negative way or a positive way, and that’s just one little thing in life if people can start to master that, right?
A hundred percent. You get a choice every day. Are you going to show up at your highest, or are you going to allow circumstances, events, and people to bring you down?
We all have this fuel. We all have this tank. We all have this energy inside of us. We all have the same amount of hours in a day, and we should be infinite energy and excited like children, right?
Yes.
We’re both parents, and when we look at our kids playing, it’s wonderful. When you see them playing, they’re full of life, they’re just like running around.
We should be like this…
Exactly.
…and if we’re not, we’re out of alignment.
Exactly.
You’ve traveled to be here. You just moved from where, you said three countries?
Oh my God. So…
Okay.
…6 months ago I was living in London my whole life.
I got married, did a transit-Atlantic move with my son, moved to Vancouver.
Okay.
We still have our place there, but we just lived there for 6 months. Now, we’ve moved 2 days ago to LA.
So 3 countries in 6 months.
What brought you to LA? What’s here?
Filming, career.
Okay.
I got my podcast.
Okay.
I got so many cool things that I do here in LA physically, and always traveling and speaking here. So it just made more sense for us to be in the place where the career is.
Nice. Well, welcome to LA.
Thank you so much.
Or welcome back, I guess.
Thank you.
So, you’re married and a son-
Mm-hmm.
Is that right? How old is your son?
My son’s 5.
Five.
You know the story about how me and my husband met, right?
Well, that, I want to talk about, yes. So, you manifested, basically, your relationship, right?
Yeah, tell that story. Let’s just get into it.
You got it.
Yes.
I love how you preface that because that’s exactly what I did. I just want to say, the red matches all the red.
It totally does.
It’s amazing.
It’s on brand.
I know. Isn’t it amazing? I love this studio so much. It’s so dope.
Okay, I decided after 3 years of being single, a single mom, I was like, “I am ready to manifest love in my life. I’m ready to actually meet the man of my dreams. I’m ready to find ‘the one.’”
Yep.
What do I do?
So, I did my method. I did my process, and within 3 weeks of doing my method and my process, there and behold walks into my life my husband.
Three months later, we got married.
Wow. I see we got a lot in common here. Yes.
So, I didn’t know I was manifesting my wife when I met her but I did, and that was 24 years ago. We met on Valentine’s Day, and then we got married on April 1st, only a month-and-a-half of knowing each other and we got married.
So, when you ask…
Oh my God, amazing.
…the universe, the universe sometimes gives you what you ask for.
A hundred percent..
Right?
When you put it out there, I want this business, I want this much in the bank, I want to meet the love of my life, it happens.
It does.
You and your wife are such a similar story. I didn’t know that.
Mm-hmm. Yes.
That’s beautiful.
We have a 5-year-old as well.
No. Play date.
We do.
Oh, my God, dude.
Totally do. Yep.
We need to, so connect.
Uh-huh.
That’s so cool.
Exactly. So, while you’re here, we’ll have to get- my daughter’s name is Brooklynn and she’s the sweetest little girl.
Yep. You’ll love her.
Oh, my gosh. I love that. So, cute.
Oh, I love kids, and it’s so nice when they meet kids their own age, and then the parents have things in common and it’s just so nice.
Yes.
I feel like it’s harder when you go to schools and things, because you’re like, you don’t get to choose your friends.
You just are thrown at you, the parents of the children, at the school.
That’s exactly right.
I’m like, “Oh, I’m probably not naturally warm to particular individuals because maybe they’re not as business mindset-
That’s right.
Or they’re not as mindful,” whatever it might be.
So, it’s actually nice when you meet people organically, like you and I, as friends where you genuinely like the person.
It’s like, “Oh my God, we have a kid the same age? Yes!”
You know what’s really funny too is, I was watching an interview of you and it was brought up that we both have similar inspiration, and that inspiration is a Denzel Washington commencement speech that he gave, which literally changed my life, seriously.
When I was watching an interview of you and they brought that up, I’m like, “There’s no way,” and so the “Fall Forward” commencement speech, is that the one that-
Yes. Oh, my God, that was my healing speech. I can’t believe that-
Seriously.
What did it do for you?
So, well, for one, it changed my life, because failure is important. We learn from our failures and he is like, I think he says, “I don’t want to fall back.”
You don’t want to fall back on anything, you want to fall forward.
Wow.
So, I just took that, and I’m like, “Yeah, fall forward. But what about ‘fail forward,’ fail forward?” So-
Is that you who created the “Fail Forward” thing?
Well, I don’t know if I created it, but I’ve got t-shirts about it and that’s…
Oh, yes.
…kind of my whole thing is fail forwarding.
That’s you, then.
Yeah.
Wow.
Everything from everything he talks about with regards to when you’re near your deathbed and you have all of the ghosts that come to you.
You know what I’m talking about, right?
I know. It gives me chills, man. It’s so real.
You’re standing there and like, “What do you regret? What didn’t you do in your life?”
“I came to you and you didn’t bring me to life. I came to you.”
It’s so powerful. I literally listen to that once a month.
Yeah. Yeah. So do I. So do I.
It’s funny because once you tune into that speech, you will forever more go back to it because you know what it did for you the first time.
Yes.
It’s like a podcast, like when people are listening to this now, they know what they did for them when they listened to your podcast last week, because they’re going to come back again today because they know it’s going to continually bring them benefits in their life.
That’s right. Yeah. So powerful. We’ll put a link. You should definitely listen to that. So much power in it.
It’s so good.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
Let’s get into your upbringing. So, first of all, you were brought up in the UK? Is that where you’re-
Yes.
Okay.
I was brought up in the UK. I was born in the countryside.
Okay.
I was born on a farm, basically.
Okay.
I grew up with cows and sheep as my best friends.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Okay.
Then like, “Look at this now. She’s dressed in an alien bougie outfit. She does not look like a farm girl.”
I basically moved to London, and when I moved to London, my life changed because I was suddenly around people, and I was 18 and it was all new, and that’s where my crazy journey began.
But I was a rebel at school. I’d already badly gotten into drugs and drinking at school. It was already not in a great place, more alcohol than anything.
Quit drinking at 18, decided I’m never going to touch stuff again.
Good for you.
But the drugs, I hadn’t found the way out of, but I didn’t know that I was going to go into what happened later on in my life until I was thrown some crazy- so-
Ah, I see. I hear you were into gymnastics, like pretty good at that.
Yes.
Okay.
Oh, my gosh. So, in the beautiful parts of my years until I was 13, I was a national gymnast for the south of England, and it was amazing.
I competed, I had a wonderful time and I love dancing. I love doing gymnastics, and I combined the two and it taught me about competitiveness. It taught me about being the best at what you are good at…
That’s right.
…and knowing that if you don’t show up every single day and train, if you don’t show up and perform, someone else is going to take that medal from you.
That’s right.
If you don’t put a smile on your face when you’re performing, because people want to see this beautiful image of you when you’re performing in that way, in gymnastics, then you’re going to look moody, and the person who’s smiling will just get five more points than you when you’re doing the performance.
That’s right. Yep.
Now, how did I apply that in their life? Because it was understanding that I always wanted to be ahead of the game. I always wanted to be ahead of the curve. I always wanted to be the best at something, and so then I became the best dancer.
So, until I was 21, I was a dancer. I was the best, I was in all these top academies, et cetera, and I’ve carried that with me.
So, I’ve always had that mad tenacity and drive.
When you were looking back, is that what you thought your future was going to be? You were just going to be a dancer or maybe go to the Olympics? What were you thinking as a kid is where you would end up?
You know, I wanted to be a dancer…
Okay.
…but my parents said, “That won’t give you any money.”
Sure.
My dad was a doctor and I’m the oldest of five kids. They wanted us all to be doctors or lawyers or professionals in that way and it just wasn’t for me.
And so I rebelled so hard I didn’t even go to university. I rebelled so hard, I dropped out, I ran away. I was like, “Fuck this. I am so not wanting to be what everyone else wants me to be. I want to do something that uses my voice.”
But I didn’t know that I was going to go on to be a motivational speaker. I didn’t know I was going to go on to be an author and mindset coach. I didn’t know I was going to help save lives in the way that I do.
Yeah.
But it’s beautiful to know that in this decade, this chapter, this season that that’s what I do.
That’s what you get to do, yeah.
Yeah.
So, parents, they put a lot of pressure on kids…
Yes.
…to do well in school and, “Someday you’ll be a doctor, you’ll be a lawyer.”
So, about 10, 15 years ago I’d seen a TED Talk and it was a guy and he got up there and he started talking about, “Why can’t we raise kids to be entrepreneurs?“
Wow.
“It’s perfectly okay to be an entrepreneur,” right?
Mm-hmm.
As I’m watching this TED Talk, I’m like, “Man, I love this,” and so I manifested him being my coach, my coach at some point.
Back then I couldn’t afford him as a coach, but I manifested it, and I’m like, “Someday, he’ll be my coach.”
And he was.
Right? So, after my agency started to grow and we had enough resources, I just reached out to him randomly and said, “Hey, would you coach me?”
His name is Cameron Herold, and then he reached back out. He’s been my coach for 2 and 1/2, 3 years now. Yeah.
That is so beautiful.
Yeah.
I love that.
The mind is so powerful. There was a quote that you said: “80% is in your mindset and then 20% is…”
“…in your action.”
“In your action,” right?
I love that. Mm-hmm. I love that you brought that one up.
That’s very profound actually, because I recently went through something and I had to apply my own knowledge. I was like, “Oh, boy.”
Oh, my husband was looking at me. He kept saying, “Do you know you’re not practicing what you preach right now. Look at you, you’re moaning,” because we moved country.
So, therefore all my staff shifted and changed because everyone who was in-person is now not every- it was chaos for me, and then managing the household stuff in household, that all shifted.
I felt so alone, and I was like during the move and he was like, “You’re not practicing what you preach.” He was like, “All you keep saying is, ‘I feel like I’ve drowned,’ and you’re getting angry and upset.”
Yeah. I’m human. We’re all human.
We are.
We are all human. We all cry. We all feel. We all feel pain, hopefully. Most of us aren’t robots.
So, I said, “You’re right. I’m really being a mess.”
So, I sat and I wrote out 100 things that I was grateful for and that I loved, not just grateful that I love.
So, it’s like, “I am so grateful for my son. I love my life. I love the fact that I’m able to travel and live where I want. I love the fact that actually I do have an amazing team,” even though they’re not with me now, “and I do have this, and I do have that, even when things weren’t in my life, I will always give thanks.”
I just wrote down this list and it literally shifted my mood. My sore throat or the things I had a week ago went because I shifted.
Yeah.
It’s in the mindset.
It totally is.
Then I took the action.
Yes. Yeah. Well, that action, that’s an amazing tip that you just gave.
For those that are listening and you sometimes find yourself going into dark places in life, because it happens.
Just recently, I had a flood in our house and we weren’t prepared for it and we had to move out and…
Oh my God,
…my wife was in a car accident and it’s like, everything…
At once.
…continued to strike, right?
Yeah.
I showed up for a meeting one day with my team and my good positive energy just wasn’t there, and it was very noticeable.
People were reaching out to me saying, “Hey, Jason, are you okay? Who was that on that call recently?”
I’m just like-
Isn’t that funny, but it’s because when you are such a bright light like you, when we have these off-days, they’re so noticeable more than anyone else, because our high is so big all the time.
So, low, by the way, I’m normal now, and then this is a bit low feels horrendous.
It does.
Right?
Yeah. Uh-huh. It becomes very noticeable for those that love you. It’s not like we’re putting on a show, right?
Uh-uh.
It’s just, that’s how we show up for life, right?
Yes!
But we’re human.
One-hundred percent, we’re all human. We all have things happen.
But by the way, you don’t grow from the good, you grow from the challenges, you grow from the hard times.
Yes.
You grow when it’s not all roses and fairies and pretty things. We grow through the obstacles, through the down times, that’s when our soul evolves.
We are here to see how we’re going to overcome those challenges, how we’re going to move through those trials and tribulations in our life to see who we are after.
It’s not about who we were during that trial, during COVID, during the long periods of doubt, it’s who we are after.
Mm-hmm. Exactly.
So, a great tip, go write down 100 things that you’re grateful for. If you don’t have time, just take a Saturday, just do that.
But even if you don’t have time to do that, find a gratitude partner.
I have a gratitude partner where every morning we just text each other one thing that we’re grateful for.
No.
Just every morning.
Just, that’s pretty cool.
It’s just a cool way to wake up your morning and…
That’s so cool.
…just one little thing and you text them. And they text you and that’s it. That’s it, “Have a good day.” Right?
That should be my opening text on my phone, really, rather than, “Have you guys sent the images?” Or, “What time am I live?”
Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. I agree.
I keep my phone on “airplane mode” at night.
Okay.
What I do is I listen to wave sounds, so they’re already downloaded to my phone so I can have it by my bed, airplane mode, and I listen to the ocean.
Sure.
It is so beautiful all night. Then when I wake up, I refuse, when possible, and I really mean when possible, to put my phone off airplane mode until 9 o’clock, 10 o’clock.
I decide when I’m going to start the day, because if you go straight to your phone in the morning, straight to those emails, messages, notifications, you are subservient to somebody else’s diary and agenda.
That is you doing things for everybody else before yourself…
Sure.
…and answering to them. You’ve got a first answer to you.
“What do I want to do today? What feels good for my soul? What feels good for my contribution to the world? What feels good for my purpose? How can I be in alignment with what I’m doing? How can I show up at a higher wave today?”
Then you decide and plan your day from that place.
So, walk me through that. So, you wake up in the morning and what does your regimen look like?
So, when I just put this on my Instagram this morning, I literally just put my morning rituals on there.
View this post on Instagram
Okay. So, I wake up in the morning and I will meditate. So, I will put on a meditation, either music and guide myself or a guided meditation straight away.
At that point, I relax.I go into my meditation. After it, I will journal.
So, I’m usually having my tea at this point as well, so I’m drinking turmeric and ginger tea. In the morning, really great for you, really great for immunity. I feel like that’s really calming anti-inflammatory yeah.
So, I do that first of all.
So, all about health.Why? Because my highest priorities in my life are number one, God, that’s for me, God. Number two, health. Number three, family. Number four, contribution to the world, and number five, experiences.
Actually, John Assaraf, a really good friend of mine from The Secret who endorsed my book actually taught me that, so I have to give him the credit for that one.
Sure.
So, he helped me get in alignment, my five things. Now, I use those and I implement them into my morning and my day.
So, now I’ve woken up, I’ve done my meditation, my giving thanks to the above to the universe. That’s what meditation is to me, because when we pray, we talk, but when we meditate, we listen.
Interesting.
And we listen, and we hear what we’re meant to.
Okay. So, after I do my meditation, then I journal and I sit and I write out all the things I love, or I plan my day in terms of what’s going to happen and how I want it to go. Third person, past tense.
Got it.
Third person, past tense.
“Natasha’s day was absolutely incredible. She met up with X, Y, Z. She had the most amazing podcast with Jason. She had the most wonderful time. He is an amazing human and together they helped change the planet,” things like that.
Then he’s like, “Whoa, huge expectations!”
I like you. Yes. Uh-huh.
So, expected.
Then after that, I go on and so I’ve had my tea and then I get up and maybe I either eat breakfast at this point and then do yoga, or I hang out with my son for a bit here. He’s usually in my bed by this point watching a movie or something, and then that’s it.
I then start my day after this series of things has happened. So, I just take my highest priority seriously.
Sure. Sure. Very powerful.
I can definitely learn a few things from you, because sometimes I just wake up, and like you said, just read for the phone and what fire is happening now, and it totally changes your whole day.
I still am doing that from time to time.
Yeah.
I can’t say I’m perfect, nobody is. I will still be like, on a weekend, it’s a non-negotiable. I actually don’t even turn it off airplane mode till maybe even 12 o’clock.
That’s good.
It’s kind of a, “I don’t need to,” so I definitely do it on those days.
Then maybe on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, but I’ll still have days where it’s like because I’ve got people in different countries, you’ll know this, who are working on different time zones and then they’ll be like they need you on that. So, they’re only awake until 9, your time, a.m.
So, I still have days where I can’t get away from it, but I’ll always try and come back to basics. Come back to me, come back to wholeness, because if you aren’t overflowing with goodness and abundance, if you aren’t overflowing with self love, with feeling good, you have nothing to pour out into others.
Yeah.
You are overflowing with love, now you can help others. You’re overflowing with health and wealth, you can overpour into others.
Sure. Sure. Sure.
Were you always like this or did you have a breakthrough?
I get this question every time. I’m on–
I’m just curious. Yeah.
No. I love it because, yes, I was born 3 weeks early and I was clearly eager to get into the world.
Okay.
I believe when you are born has something to do with that.
Sure.
I think people who are born prematurely, early or whatever, they just have something big to do in this world.
Mm-hmm.
People who are late as well have also done amazing things, but it’s obviously this is not a sweeping statement. I’ve noticed that some of the people that I work with have been born early and there are a few similarities there, because you use the same star signs.
Sure.
I was born this way. I have always had this amazing energy.
Of course, my light dimmed. My light dimmed when I went through some trying times in my life for a period of years, but I always knew what I wanted to do.
When I wasn’t in alignment with my purpose, I had this burning desire to be in alignment with my purpose, which made me, then, change my life.
Let’s get vulnerable for a second.
So, during your darkest point, how did you find the soul from within to break through that?
Well, when I was in my darkest times, which is probably when I was ill, I’m well, I felt like I had lost me. I felt like I had lost every part of me. I felt like, “Who am I? I’ve lost my sparkle. I feel like I’ve lost who I was born to be,” and when you don’t have your health, you have nothing.
Interesting.
You really have nothing. I’ve been homeless. I was homeless in 2018 with my son. That was pretty bad.
That was all around the time of the illness as well, so I had some real drastic years, but the universe was just saying to me, “Red alarm bells. Wake up and smell the coffee. You aren’t listening. There’s pain physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. You’re going to wake up. You’re going to listen.”
I wasn’t listening to them audibly. I wasn’t listening to those little signs, so it got bigger and bigger and louder and louder until I listened.
My breakthrough started to happen when I read, because I’d always read books like The Secret. I’d always read Napoleon Hill, and Joseph Murphy, some of the greats. I’d always been in touch with spirituality or the greater good metaphysical.
But when I was in a bad place, I just turned to some of those teachings and thought, “You can take everything from me, but the one thing that you can’t take from me is my mind, the one thing you can’t take, so surely I can come out of this. I can build back.”
It goes back to what you first said, “It’s all in the mind.”
I just knew, “I’m going to heal.” I just knew, “I am going to come out of this stronger than ever, and I’m going to go on.”
I made this agreement with the universe as I was listening to Denzel Washington’s tape. I said to the universe, I said to God, I said, “If you show me how to heal now, I promise to share with the world for the rest of my life.”
How you showed me to heal, and why I did, I’ve never stopped since that day.
Wow. So, what type of steps did you take then? So, did you start to write your first book then?
Yeah. The book was a little bit after that, but I’d already started writing and doodling. I call it doodling, just like endless notes and words. But I basically just started taking steps towards feeling better, meditating, breathing.
I created my “MBS Method,” which is inside the book, which is meditational, behavioral, synchronicity, which is all around ancient breathing techniques with mundane neuroscience, helping you to go deeper into altered states of awareness, helping you to access your higher mind faculties whilst meditating; removing the self-limiting beliefs so that you’re able to imprint a new belief system, wake up feeling different and saying, “I’m not going to go by my old belief system that I don’t feel good. I’m not going to go by my old belief system that I am not worthy of love. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of healing. I am worthy of being something greater than this now.”
As it says in the Denzel Washington speech, which you and I love, and what we’ve been speaking about, pain is just temporary. Whatever you’re going through now is just temporary.
Yes.
This is not permanent. This is not where you are destined to be.
Yes.
So, just let it go.
Yeah.
Shake it off. Step out of it.
So, I told the pain, “Leave me, just leave me. Just leave my body. You do not belong with me. You’re not my pain. You’re not my illness. You don’t belong to me.”
That’s why when people say, “What did you have?” I no longer say, “My illness was,” or whatever. I had an illness and I try and correct myself, because it was very different.
Wow. So, as you’re saying that I wrote something down, this is from Denzel. It says, “Don’t settle for a life that is less than the one that you’re capable of living,” and that’s exactly what you said.
So, even at your darkest moment, you knew in your mind that this isn’t who you were, this isn’t what you were destined to become. So, you just take one little step forward, one next little step forward.
It happened to me too. So, back in 2008, my theory is to make your mess your message.
I use that so much.
Yeah.
I love it.
Uh-huh. Yeah. I think Robin Roberts coined that one.
But back in 2008, I was young. I was aggressive. I was hungry. I was reading the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
Great book.
Robert Kyosaki, and so I started to invest in real estate.
I’m like, “Yeah, this is so easy. You buy a house, you take out some equity, you buy another house, you buy a house-”
All of my other friends are living at home with their parents and they’re basically going to community college, and I own 12 homes.” I’m like, “This is so easy,” and then the whole market collapsed.
So, I was on the verge of bankruptcy. I’m just like, “What do I do? How do I even get out of this?”
I had a wife and I had two boys at the time and it was- just came crashing down. But that’s just it, like you said, you can’t take away my mind.
“I come from nothing. I can build it back up again.”
I just took one little step forward and the next little step forward and eventually, now here I am later, I’ve got a very successful business, I guess, however, you define success. I got a studio and here I’m interviewing you.
So, if you are listening and you’re in your darkest point, you can get out of it. Yeah.
You can.
Ask for help.
I love hearing your story too.
You can, you ask for help and that’s a great start, but also just doing something different.
If you’ve always done the same thing, you’re always going to get what you always got. If you keep doing the same thing, you’re never going to see a change in your life. You have to do something a little different to get a different result.
Yeah. Yeah. It’s funny, we have a mutual friend, David Meltzer.
Yeah.
Isn’t he great?
So, good.
Yeah.
Your studio reminds me of one of his studios that we film at in Vegas.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
He’s such a good dude, and that’s his whole thing is like, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Absolutely.
Right?
Absolutely. Just ask it, ask and you shall receive.
Yeah. Yeah, because people, they get gratitude out of helping you, so why deprive somebody of that, of getting that self-gratification by helping other people?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
So, meditation, does that come easy to you? You’ve got so much energy. I can’t see you just shutting it off.
It’s so funny, because I have such a big voice. So, when I meditate and I do meditations, we go into this tone, go into another tone.
But no, I used to find it hard, because I was like, “Ah,” all the time, just like super go, go, go, go, go.
So, I created my MBS, and my MBS method starts with breathing exercises. So, you can either do it in half or you can do another primary type of breathing. When you do that, you go deeper. You calm down, you go calmer first, then you meditate.
You don’t try and meditate now when you’re super hyped.
You meditate when you’re like, “Okay, I need a breather. I feel stressed.” Start with breathing.
Yeah.
Should I show an exercise?
I would love that.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay. So, for anyone listening to us at home, don’t do this while you’re driving and just, okay, we’ll do a little round of breathing.
So, I always do this when I go on stage. As soon as I walk out on stage. I’m like, “Okay, everybody stand up.” I’m like, “We’re going to breathe.”
Yeah.
Okay. So, let’s do a round of wim-hofs.
Okay.
So, we’re going to go breathing in through the nose and out through your mouth for five. Then we’re going to hold it for as long as we can at the bottom. I’ll guide you.
Okay.
Then we’re going to inhale for 15.
Okay.
Are you ready?
Yeah.
We’re going to go…
[inhaling and exhaling quickly]
Just holding it out as long as you can at the bottom right now, just holding it out, and just holding that breath as long as you can.
Usually, you could go for about a minute at this point.
You’re just going to calm the mind. You’re just going to allow the body to rest, come into this present moment. Calm your thoughts.
Whenever you need, just take a breath and inhale. Whenever you want, just coming back and just inhaling and holding the breath at the top for 15 seconds…
And just relaxing into this moment, allowing your breath and you to become one, allowing your breath to be your guiding force, so just inhaling in a few seconds.
We’ll inhale together now.
[inhaling]
Hold it at the top for 15 seconds right here. Good, and then releasing it.
[exhaling]
When you do that, you can do that about five times in a row. You do that every single morning. You do that every day as you start your day.
That’s often how I’ll start my meditation practice, and I try and do that every single day, before a meeting or before an event. I do that because it sets my tone. It calms me down. It brings me into the only moment we have, which is the present moment right now.
I feel so much lighter. Like you just-
I bet.
It’s like therapy, sometimes people don’t go to therapy and they keep everything within. It’s like constantly breathing in, but you’re not exhaling, right?
That’s just one round, so imagine when you do that five times…
Yeah.
…or three lots of five, it takes around 10 minutes, depending on how long your breath-holds are for, and you just come into the present moment and just feel amazing.
You’re like, “I can just be at one again. I can just be peaceful.” Then that’s when you try and meditate.
Your hands tingle, your body tingles, that’s normal. That’s the oxygen going to all the new cells. That’s the rejuvenation happening in your body. Breathing can either heal you, or it can kill you.
That’s powerful.
Breath, it’s the first thing we do when we come into this world, we take our first breath. We receive our first breath.
As we leave, we exhale, and that’s the last thing we do.
So powerful. Thank you so much for doing that exercise.
If you’re experimenting at home with breathing exercises, I’m sure you can probably learn a lot from her book on these different methods.
You can’t get it wrong, right?
Yeah.
If you just practice and you find your own way, but if there’s techniques that’ll help you. I certainly need it, because I have a hard time just stopping and just breathing…
Yeah. No, I-
…and stopping the mind.
I know what you mean, and that’s it. You just breathe, it really helps. For someone like that who’s really on the go, go and do it at lunchtime.
Sure.
Go and break up your day so that you’ve got more energy.
If I could tell you, I can show you how to have more energy this afternoon. I can show you how to show up in your meetings better, how to have an amazing afternoon, you’d say, “Tell me your secret.”
That’s right.
Go to the bathroom. Go and do a breathing exercise, wherever you are, at work, sit down, park the car, take a moment away from the kids. Just go sit in a bathroom a lot of the time or go and sit outside in nature.
Even better, put your feet on the ground, in the earth. This will sound crazy, but my feet are always covered in soil. I know that sounds nuts, it’s so annoying in my shoes. No, they’re all right today, but my shoes are always covered in soil because I’m always walking barefoot.
You literally best believe if I’m walking 10 minutes between somewhere, oh, you’re going to watch me go in my full-blown outfit. Take my heels off and walk on the grass. 100% I want to feel the grass because that’s mother nature. That’s grounding. That’s rooting.
In my MBS, we often do things where you visualize your feet growing roots through mother earth and absorbing the amazing energy through your body.
It’s just an idea. It’s just, even if it’s not true, it doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not. It’s whether you believe it or not, so try something different.
I love it.
Be It Until You Become It, I’m talking about your book here. I’ll hold it up so that people can see it.
When did you write this book?
So, this book I wrote- this took me a few years.
Okay.
This took me a while.
Yeah.
I’ve been writing this for years. Yeah. It’s a really big part of my life. I wrote this book as my gift to the world.
It’s The Law of Attraction Explained through Ancient Wisdom and Neuroscience.
Okay.
It’s that point where they meet and it’s called Be It Until You Become It, because I didn’t ever, like, “fake it until you make it.”
“Fake it until you make it,” I just thought, “Fuck that. It’s just not for me. I am not that girl.” I want to be it. I want to become it.
Yes.
I kept saying in the audience, “Be it. Become it.” I was like, “That’s the name of my book.”
Yeah. It came to you, huh?
Be It Until You Become It, it came to me, because I just knew when I was healing, I had to step into a healed version of me and be the healed version.
Today I am healed.
Yeah.
I am deciding to be healed. I am going to act as though I’m healed, or I can give into the pain and be subservient to all the stuff that comes with that pain, but I’m not going to do it.
I want to be free today. I want to be amazing today. I want to show up so that I can be a role model for my son and for others in the world. I want to be a role model for more children in the world, for more people in the world.
I want to go on and serve the world. I have a big mission, a big purpose, and I wake up everyday thinking “Who can I heal today? Who else can I show how to end suffering? Who else can I show how to make a better impression in their life, to do something greater than what they’re doing now?”
Don’t you just love when somebody reads your book and they tell you how their life was changed as a result of reading the book?
Yes. Yes. When somebody comes to me and they say, “Literally, your book is-”
Look, for example, one of the testimonials from Gigi Gorgeous. She says, “This book has totally transformed so much for me. It’s been so amazing for my life. You are a gift to the world.”
The way that people read it and they understand that you want to help them the same way you helped yourself.
Now, granted, I’ve got a list of 100 books that I want to read, and it’s like, priority this one, I go to this one. There’s so many.
So who’s that person that should take your book and move it right to the top, like right now? I’m just curious, like what’s-
I love that.
What’s going on in their life? Yes.
Can I just squeeze this ball?
Please do, yeah.
Oh, it’s so cool. I’ve been watching this ball the whole time, “Make it happen.” Look at that, it says, “Make it happen,” you guys.
Okay. I’m sure you have a game coming up for me, because I feel like it’s a lot going on there. So, is there a game coming up?
No, those are just fidgets.
Oh my God. We should so play a game.
We could totally play a game.
Like, choose a gift and what does it mean on your mind? Can we do that?
Let’s do it.
Let’s do it. Okay.
Yes.
Because I’ll tell you all this. Okay. So, wait, what was the question?
So, the question is-
Oh, who should move it up?
Who should move it up? There you go. Yes.
Okay. Who should move it up?
The person who should move it up is the person who really believes that they can do more in their life than what they are doing.
Now, the person who is committed and is going to take action, this is not for anyone, by the way. Don’t even buy the book if you are not actually going to take action. Don’t even bother. There’s no point. Honey, go, just carry on in your life. You want mediocrity. No problem.
This book is for people that want more than that. It’s for people who want to put some figures in their bank account, they want to put some numbers in there.
Maybe they want to conceive a child. Maybe they want to do better in business. Maybe they want to build an amazing team. Maybe they just want to heal. Maybe they want to see some breakthroughs in their life.
This book is for those people who are just going to show up and step into it and go on and be an inspiration for somebody else.
Wow. See, you heard it here.
You heard it here. Make it happen.
So, there’s this saying that says, and I also live my life by this saying, and the saying goes, “You have the power to live a life that wasn’t going to happen anyway. All you have to do is go take action.”
Go talk to the pretty girl that you’re too intimidated to talk to. You have to go take action, because sometimes you just talk yourself out of doing things.
Like, leave the job that makes you miserable every day. Is that the life you want to live?
Wow. Yep.
Right? You literally have the power, and I try to institute, I’ve got two older boys too as well. We got a 19-year-old and a 17-year-old.
Nice.
I try to say, “Live a life that you’re capable of living and your life wasn’t going to happen anyway, if you don’t take action.”
Absolutely.
Right?
Absolutely. Take action. Action, like I said is the 20%, so 80% is literally in your mind.
Mm-hmm.
If you can feel it in your mind, see it in your mind, you can hold it in your hand. You can feel it in reality.
Yeah.
You can bring the ideas here, to here in this physical space, because okay, this ball, this water bottle, the light, it all began as a mere thought in someone’s mind once upon a time.
Yeah. She’s dangerous, she really is. She’s got it all.
I think I’m an old soul in a young body. I’ve been here a few times. I know it and I’m trying to catch up with where I was up to.
It’s like I can’t get there any faster.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It’s so funny. I’ve got my two boys, so one of them is super confident, like, can change the world. He just gets into things. He just starts writing songs. Now he’s producing.
Then they got my other son who got these GQ, Brad Pitt looks, but he doesn’t have the confidence.
How do you help somebody with teaching them more confidence?
That’s-
That is such a great question. It’s in the book.
It’s in the book.
We have a whole thing about confidence.
Okay.
Confidence comes from within not from without.
Yes.
Confidence comes from who you believe you are. Going back to that thing, I said a minute ago, remember when I told you it doesn’t matter if it’s the truth or not, it’s whether you believe it.
Become the version of you in your thoughts, your feelings and your actions and confidence will flow to you because you are changing who you are at a root level. You’re deciding, “I am confident, because that’s something that I think as the version of me I want to be. I feel great every day.”
So, you have to just direct people and then they have to take it themselves, but you direct them to those thoughts, feelings, actions, get them to draw it out.
One of the things we get do in the book is we go through how to draw that process out, your thoughts, your feelings and your actions.
Yeah.
What does that version of you think like and how you’re confident?
Yeah.
How do they walk? Do they show up in the room with their shoulders back or hunched over?
Yeah.
They show up confident. They walk with their shoulders relaxed and down…
That’s right.
…their heads up a bit higher. Posture is a great way to teach people confidence.
Ooh. Okay.
I bet you’ve never been told that.
No.
Posture is a great way. Think about it, if you sit up tall, you feel confident. If I slouch down here, I feel more nervous.
Yeah.
I feel calmer maybe, but maybe closed body language.
When I open up my body language, all of a sudden I’m confident. My palms are open, body language is everything, so posture, walk a bit taller, feel a bit taller.
That’s right. There is a difference between arrogance and confidence, and so be confident, just don’t be arrogant. That’s the truth.
Mm-hmm. Arrogance is a lack of gratitude. Arrogance is a…
Yeah. That’s true.
…knowing, but the wrong type of knowing.
So, I, like, I’m very confident, but I’m not arrogant. If I was arrogant, I’d be like, “Yeah, of course. I’m like that…”
Exactly.
“…like, whatever. I don’t care about your opinion. I don’t care about your- ”
That’s arrogance.
Confidence is, “Thank you so much. I appreciate your words. I appreciate everything that I have, my gifts and why I’m here.”
That’s the other thing too, it’s like, sometimes you talk to people and they’re not listening to you. They’re just waiting to talk.
And not being a good listener. Very true.
Yeah. That’s so true.
I got told the other day by an actress, she was on my show and she said, “You should’ve been in CSI on this picture.”” She said, “Natasha, can I just say something? I know I’m interviewing you right now, but you’re an amazing listener.”
I was like, “Thank you so much.”
It was the first time that I’d heard that in a long time, and I was like, “That’s really nice to know because- ” And I was like, “Why?”
She was like, “Because I can tell by your facial expressions, you just listen.” It’s really good to see, a lot of people exactly said, “I didn’t realize that.”
People just want to talk, but when you listen, you learn. When you talk, you don’t learn.
It’s so obvious, when you’re talking and you’re having a conversation with somebody and they’re not really truly present. It’s frustrating. You keep having the conversation, and then they’re just waiting to talk.
So, if you find yourself doing that, just get in tune with yourself. Try to become a better listener.
So, there’s “Five Pillars” of philosophy, I want to talk about that.
What are the Five Pillars and how did you come up with it?
“The Five Pillars to Achieving Your Goals.”
Okay.
Number one: Get clarity of your vision.
Okay.
Number two: Remove the limiting beliefs. Number three: Replace the old limiting beliefs with a new belief about yourself, a new empowered belief. Number four: Expand your vision.
Okay.
So, that can be through visualization or vision boards.
And number five: Take inspired action.
“Take inspired action.”
Mm-hmm.
So, five pillars which make you feel good. You can apply this to anything. You can apply this to business. You can apply this to your family. You can apply this to any goal that you have.
If you don’t have pillar one getting clarity on your vision, you don’t even have a goal.
Sure.
Get clarity on what you want. When I ask people, “What do you want?” Do how often they say things like, “Oh, I don’t know, maybe a bit more of this. Maybe a bit more of that.”
It’s like, “Sweetie, get clarity. Know exactly what it is that you want. Do you want to fly? Do you want to touch the sky? What do you want?”
Yeah. Uh-huh.
I think that’s a song, isn’t it? Then they’re like, “I Believe I Can Fly.”
That’s a controversial song right now, right?
Is it?
With R. Kelly?
Oh, shit, that was bad timing.
It’s so good. It’s a great song, right? We can say that.
That’s whose song it was. Oh, God. That’s so controversial right now. I stay off those topics. I’ll leave it for other people.
[both laughing]
So, okay.
Yes.
Do you feel confident? Okay.
Mm-hmm.
Now back to it-
The “Five Pillars.”
The Five Pillars can be achieved very quickly and you can do them through literally applying every single one of those pillars in the book, we go into detail and how to do it.
But pillar two is very important, removing the limiting beliefs, because when you want to achieve a goal, when you want to manifest love in your life, when you want to manifest a billion dollars or $100 million or $10 million, whichever it is that you’re going for, if you do not first remove the blockages inside of you that are stopping you from achieving those goals, the things that are inside of you, which are like, “Actually, I don’t believe I’m worthy of the money coming in. I don’t believe I’m worthy of this thing.”
You know what? You’re not going to attract it. You’re not going to achieve it because these blockages are stopping you.
That’s right.
It doesn’t matter how much we give them, they’re never going to get past that blockage, so you’ve got to do that.
You can do that through meditation. You can do that through my MBS method. That’s the quickest way to do it, because the MBS method is “3 years of therapy in 15 Minutes.” That’s its nickname. Okay.
But you can also do it through NLP. It doesn’t have to be my method. You can do it, just make sure you get rid of those limiting beliefs.
That’s right.
I just personally don’t like to sit down in therapy for 3 years and get a result after it. I like it today. I’ve got no time for that. Today.
“Show me how to remove it right now.” That’s what I teach.
Yeah. No. That’s in this book as well?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Got it. Okay. I’m so excited to read this book.
I’m actually excited that you’re getting one of the VIP copies. Yeah. We’ll get your address after it so we can ship you, you’re having the special VIP box.
Because you’re here right now, I won’t tell you, but if you blocked your ears, I would tell it to the audience.
So, my VIP members, they get a special box and it’s not a box that has goodies in. It’s designed for that person, but it’s really cool.
That’s so cool.
I’m only doing 50 to my top celebrity and A-list and – friends.
I’m so honored. Thank you. I can’t wait to get it.
Thank you.
You are in the process of writing another book, is that right?
Yes.
Okay.
This one is out August 2nd.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah. My next one is about love. I’ll just say that much.
Okay.
The whole book is on love, and then the next one off that will be solely on business and each year, there’ll be an addition to it.
I just want to leave a legacy. It’s not about my name, it’s about the legacy that I leave here on planet earth. It’s about my work, leaving a mark, my imprint.
I was watching a movie with my son. It’s called Good Dinosaur.
Okay.
They have the mark that they leave, all these dinosaurs. I don’t know if you’ve seen it with your little one, with Brooklynn, but the dinosaur puts its paw, you should definitely watch it…
Okay.
…onto the rock.
As it imprints onto the rock, it leaves a mark. There’s this whole tower of the marks that each dinosaur leaves.
What is your mark that you want to leave? I ask this to someone listening today, what is the mark that you want to leave today in the world? What’s the imprint you want to leave there after you’re gone?
Sure.
That is serving the world.
Yeah.
That is following your assignment that you’re here to do, following your true purpose, leaving an imprint here on planet earth thereafter you’re gone.
Wow. I’ll share a story as well.
I wrote my first book, but it’s more about what I do: SEO, but when I was at my grandfather’s funeral, he passed away during COVID, went back home, went to the services.
You go to the service and there’s all your friends and family, everybody that loved him, show up.
There’s photos on the wall of all the different memories. There’s a video playing in the background of all the different clips of him and his life. People get up, they say nice things about him.
At the end of it, he’s in the casket. So, I thought of this word, “glimpse” was the word that came to me.
So, that is going to be a book that I write called “Glimpse” because you are in full control of everything that is in that room. You’re in full control of all the people that are getting up to share stories. You’re in full control of all the photos that are going to get taken. You’re in full control of all the videos that are going to appear there.
So, I just want the world to see that you have a glimpse into what the end could look like, and you’re in full control of it.
So powerful.
Right? Yeah. So-
That’s so beautiful.
Maybe it could be like a Nicholas Sparks movie too. Who knows?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. I was just like, “Ah, that’s so good.”
Yeah.
Wow. Powerful idea. You should get and do that.
You’re just sitting there, it’s like, “This is what the end looks like. It doesn’t matter how much money you had. You’re not taking that with you. That’s just a tool.”
You literally leave the same way you came in.
You leave the same way you came in.
You lose your last breath and it’s all a matter of the stories and the memories that you’ve created…
Wow.
…in your timeframe. Yeah.
Wow.
So, you hold me accountable to writing that book someday.
I will.
I’ll hold you accountable to all your books.
Oh, yes. Please do. Yeah. You need accountability partners. You need friends.
You do.
I’m obsessed with these games on the table. I don’t know. Can people watch this as a video?
Yes. Uh-huh.
Whoever’s watching, you’re just seeing the toys that I’m playing with. Oh my God. I’m having so much fun. They’re just so cool.
I feel like if this was my box, I’m like, I may even come record my podcast in your studio, because it’s so epic.
But basically, when I’m looking at them, I want to pick one up and I basically want to just tell a story about what it means to me there and then in that moment, because I often say to people, “If I say the word ‘dream,’ what do you think?”
They’re like, “House,” and I’m like “Home,” and they’re like “Miami,” and like, “Do-do-do,” like word association.
Yeah.
I feel like these games have that vibe.
Well, pick up a ball and throw me one and let’s talk about it here. All right.
So, fun.
All right.
Okay.
I’ll go first.
Okay. Go.
“Won’t stop, can’t stop.”
So, the first thing that comes to mind is Miley Cyrus.
Oh, that’s so cool. Yeah. The song is so good! Oh my God, I love that. I love that.
That’s the first thing that comes to mind.
I’m so playful. Aren’t I? I feel like I’m the most playful person. That’s so cool. You’re really playful too.
Yeah.
Okay. I got to prove them wrong, so that’s really interesting because I feel like in my life I’ve been pigeonholed so many times.
People look at me if you saw me in the street like this, or you see me not on my Instagram because it’s literally a motivational page, and it’s all about inspiration, but if you saw me, you would maybe misjudge me. Then as soon as I open my mouth, it’s like, “Whoa, where did that big voice come from this tiny little 5’4″ person?”
Yeah. Interesting. Cool. I love it.
Give me one more. Let’s do it again. Yeah. Here we go.
Orange. Ooh, I love orange. “Find your fire.”
Okay, so the first thing that comes to mind is just having drive in life. Waking up and thinking that you can change the world and actually taking action to do that, so find your fire in this orange ball.
Wow. Wow. That’s so cool.
Yeah.
That’s so cool.
What does yours say?
Okay. Okay. Okay. “Dream big.”
Ooh.
So-
That’s the Denzel Washington, it’s called “Dream Big.”
Isn’t it cool, “Dream Big”?
It is.
Something like, “Dream,” yeah. You’re right. That’s nuts. Okay. Well, that’s it.
Go and listen to the Denzel Washington- If you don’t take anything else away today, even if you don’t order my book, just at least listen to the Denzel Washington-
There you go.
That’s for you. Yeah. Wow.
Isn’t that amazing?
That is amazing. See, look, you brought our toys to life here.
I love this.
You totally did.
I love this. I was like, “There must be a game he’s going to make me play.”
Okay. So, it’s so funny. We have pens like this in the shower of my bathrooms in my house that they’re special bathroom markers; however they do stain in between the tilings.
So, my son spends half his time in the shower drawing, because I’ve given him permission to, but I love him to be creative and I get pens, and I literally write my dreams on windows, showers, everywhere…
That’s so cool.
…because I believe that’s how they come to life.
They do-
Just being childlike fun and just drawing things and like-
Yeah, that’s so smart. I want pens for my shower now.
I could have brought you some. I have spare books. Oh, no. I legit have spare boxes. Oh, my God.
So, I wrote an entrepreneur article. It’s on entrepreneur.com about taking an 8-hour shower…
Whoa.
…once a week, so it’s a whole thing, because some of your greatest ideas come from taking a shower, and why do you limit yourself to just a 4-minute shower?
So, it’s not really taking an 8-hour shower, but just finding one day where you can just be creative, like just blocking off 8 hours just to be creative where you’ve got no other distractions.
That’s my definition of an 8-hour shower.
Obsessed.
Yes. Mm-hmm.
I couldn’t agree more. I love that I go in the shower for 8 hours.
Because that’s where your creativity comes in-
Yeah. I legit have showers, which my longest was an hour-and-45 minutes.
My husband was like, “Where were you?” I was like, “In the shower for 10 minutes.” He was like, “You’ve been in there for an hour and 45 minutes.”
“I’m changing the world in my mind in the shower. I am.”
I just draw on windows in the shower. I find that so incredible and so fun. I feel like it’s my freedom. It’s where I dream. You’re right, ideas do come in the shower.
Yes. Right.
Earlier in the show you talked about how you manifested the love of your life, got married, but you said, “I used some of my techniques.”
I’m sure we talked about some of them, but for those that are looking for the love of their life listening right now, what are some of the techniques that they can use?
Okay. Are you ready?
Yeah.
Write this down. Number one…
Okay.
…we’re going to use the Five Pillars, so you just get clarity in your vision.
Okay.
So, that means you should write a list of 100 things you want in your partner; 10 things they look like; 10 things they feel like; 10 things you do together; 10 attributes, characteristics, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.
Mm-hmm.
Okay. Then you go through that list and you don’t just put it under your pillow and just walk away and go, “Great. He’ll just show up. They’ll just show up in my life.”
What you do is you mark yourself out of 10, so how generous am I out of 10? How loving am I out of 10? How kind am I out of 10? Anything you are below an eight on, honey you got to work on.
So, now you go and work on this and you’re like-
That was nuts. My chair just went down. And then, woo.
Now you’re working on it and you are focused on it. So, you are becoming the most loving, generous, amazing version of you that you could possibly be, and guess what?
You are going to attract that to you because you’re no longer resonating in a lower frequency, not being generous, not being loving and not being funny, not being exciting, when you expect all of that from somebody else, actually you are becoming your dream partner, so now they are magnetized to you.
You are a magnet to what you receive, so you want to receive your dream partner, and a classic line. “Oh, I just keep going for douchebags,” or, “Every person I go for is so crap,” or they-
You’re attracting that. Yes.
You’re attracting that.
Mm-hmm.
It’s not their fault. You’re allowing that into your life.
Yes.
You’ve got to shift your dynamic, shift your frequency and say, “I’m really loving, I’m really successful. I’m really amazing. I’m going to be all these things,” and then boom, that person is drawn to you.
That is the most amazing technique I’ve ever heard. If you are single looking for the love of your life, go do that.
That’s a whole book. You should write that book.
That’s it. It’s the 100 things.
Oh, my God.
That’s only tip one.
That’s the only tip one? Okay, please.
He’s like, “Tell me the other thing.” Jenna was like, “Tell me-”
Please continue.
Okay, yeah.
Yes.
No. Okay.
By the way, this is not just for people who want new love. You can do this to strengthen your own marriage. You can do this to strengthen your own current relationship.
Ooh, I didn’t think about it like that.
Because you just decide, “I really want these traits in my partner, let me be these traits, and then they’ll show up as these traits.”
It’s about being loving. It’s about becoming that person.
Then when I’m nice to my husband, he’s nice to me, but when I’m a bitch to him and I’ve been guilty of doing that recently, so bad, I’ve been so bad, then I will go and I’ll write a love letter to him and be like, “I’m so sorry that I was so moody on my period. I’m going to be a lot nicer now.”
Okay. Here’s what you do. Tip two, tip two, and look, I’m just writing exactly what I’ve done and I’ve helped people manifest their partners into their life within, the closest one was 24 hours.
Mine was 3 weeks and the longest is about 3 months, so they are between 24 hours or 3 months as it stands…
Okay.
…and I like that. I love a same-day. That would be pretty awesome. But here we go, and please write to me and let me know if this has happened for you.
So, here’s how you do it. Number two, you get something that you love the smell of.
Now, I personally use tea. Okay, so I get a box of tea with 30 teabags in and I’ll open the tea bag and I did this. Okay, and I opened this box.
I wish I was endorsed by this brand because I would so mention it because of the name of it, it’s so good, but I’m not, so I’m not going to be selling it.
Okay.
Here’s how it goes. I open this box and I inhale this tea.
You can do it with any tea that you love, anything you love the smell of. As I inhale the smell of the tea, I would visualize what it felt like to be held by my soulmate, held by them married.
What does it feel like to be married to this person?
I would literally smell the teabag and visualize it for 17 seconds, key number here, how it felt to be married. Guess what, 30 tea bags in. I met my husband. He walked into my life.
I can do this time and time and time again for anybody.
Ooh, so the smell?
The smell, because you are activating parts of your brain. It’s neuroscience. You’re activating parts of your brain which are stimulated- the particular activating system wakes up. The amygdala wakes up. Different parts of your brain wake up, which suggest that you are going to bring it to fruition faster because you’re attaching your senses to it.
When you attach your smell sense to it, your visual sense to it, your hearing, audible sense to it, you are more likely to have an all-encompassing feeling stored as a memory in your brain, you’re encompassing and all of a sudden you’re going to bring it to fruition.
That’s on a whole ‘nother level of crazy. Oh my God.
If you’re listening to this, rewind that and listen again. Yes.
I could drop neuroscience all day, actually there’s a lot of studies in the book about neuroscience because I geek out over it. I love this stuff. I’m such a geek.
I love neuroscience. I’m passionate about it.
So, neuroscience, explain to those, yes, that are listening that don’t understand that. Yes.
Okay. Neuroscience is like the latest about the brain, the latest discoveries about the brain and how it can benefit your life or not benefit your life.
We’re in control of our brain, and guess what? Neuroplasticity is happening until the day we die, not just till we’re 25. We thought it was until you’re an adult. It’s happening until the day you die, which means that you can learn a new skill, learn a new language at any point in your life, because neuroplasticity is happening every day, which means that we can achieve any goal that we want through learning a new skill.
We can go and train to be a firefighter. We can go and train to be an entrepreneur. We can go and train in business. We can go and train to be the perfect partner.
We can legit teach ourselves to be it until you become it.
Yes.
So, you become the version of you through neuroscience.
So, do you want me to give you some-
Yeah.
Okay. Here we go.
Please do.
So, there’s a pod, our brain called the “reticular activating system-”
Okay.
The RAS and it filters 2 million bits of data every second, colors and sounds and things that you see, not smell. It shows you things that you deem as important.
So, what do you deem as important? Anything that you focus your mind on is what your RAS deems as important.
Sure.
So, if you’re focusing your mind on, “I feel unworthy of this. I feel unwell. I feel down. I feel not good enough to attract the love of my life. I don’t feel great,” all these negatives, then your reticular activating system’s going to show you evidence, evidence around you in people, events and places to prove that your belief system of unworthiness is real.
If you then recognize that you are in control, so, “Okay, wait. No, I don’t deem that as important. I deem as important. I am worthy of love. Even if I don’t believe it, even if it’s not true, I believe it. I’m going to believe it. I’m going to believe it. I’m going to believe it. I’m worthy of love. I’m worthy of meeting the love of my life in the next month. I am truly believing it.”
Then guess what? You change your thought system. You change your reality. Change your inner reality, your outer reality changes. So, your reticular activating system now shows you evidence around you and people, events and places to prove your new belief system is real.
My mind is playing tricks on me, that’s so powerful. Oh my God. Thank you.
So, many soundbites there to share, I cannot wait for my listeners to get inspiration from this and to get inspiration from your whole book.
We’re going to move to something that we like to call “Hennessey Heart-to-Heart.” Okay.
Ooh.
Super simple. I’m just going to ask you questions, and the first thing that comes to your mind, similar to what we did with the balls here. Here it is.
What do you think the world needs more of?
Love.
Love. Okay. Got it. I agree.
We already talked about the first thing you do when you wake up, so I’m going to skip that one.
Name one thing that surprised you about being a parent.
How hard it was.
Mm.
How triggering it was, like how all-encompassing it was to just suddenly be responsible for this other person.
It’s good because it makes you realize you’re not just about your business, like there’s a bigger purpose here.
You got to be a role model for your kid too.
Yeah, so many lessons by having kids.
What’s the best gift you have ever been given?
Hm.
You can define that any way you want to define it.
Health.
Health?
Yeah. A million times over, health.
My love language is acts of service, so when somebody tells me or does something for me, sorry, anything, I often hire people in my team because of how much they do before they work for me and words of affirmation is my next one-
That’s mine, that’s right. Yep.
I often will take somebody on and I just have adoration for them because they do so much for me.
I’m like, “That just means the world to me,” so health, if somebody shows me how to better my health, I’m like, “Thank you.”
Yeah. Then, by the way, that’s a book called The Five Love Languages.
Yes.
For those that are listening, if you’re in any type of a relationship, you and your partner should definitely read it.
I think I know the answer to this one, but I’ll say it anyway, coffee or tea?
Tea.
How many pairs of shoes do you own?
I have two closets. My main closet, 150.
Okay, for example, I’m going out the door, I have a closet, my walk in, which is next to the bedroom, which is my stuff, which is already prepared in outfits. I probably only have 20 pairs there, so they’re the ones I wear, so it’s not bad.
I could take that down to about five.
I’m actually really unattached to material things. I’ll wear this same pair, like I’ve worn on stage for every keynote I’ve ever done. I’m just like that girl.
I was doing trainers actually until my husband went, “Look, babe, they were white platform trainers, and everyone was talking about when you were on stage about how dirty they were, because you’re on soil all the time. You’ve got to take them off and wear some heels on stage.”
Like, “Are you serious?” I was like, “Why can’t I wear trainers on stage?”
He bought me a pair of sparkly heels, and I was forced to wear them.
Who knows you best?
My mom or my husband.
Yeah?
Mm-hmm.
Other than your husband, who do you call when you have great news?
My mom.
Mom.
Then my vice president at my company, Maria. She’s amazing. She’s my best friend as well. I’m just like, boom. I just call her and I’ll tell her, or okay.
Actually, really interesting, when I have great news that has come to fruition and it’s not good news that’s going to happen. When it’s good news like, “Your magazine article’s out.”
I’m the cover of Glamour right now, so it’s-
View this post on Instagram
Wow. Congrats.
Thank you so much. It’s like I wouldn’t tell people until that was physically out.
Yes.
So, then I will send it to my 10 or 20 top influential friends. That’s who I tell good news to, because then they might go and promote it and then I’ll do the same for them.
There you go. Yep. Love it, marketing.
That was a good piece of advice for someone who’s like, “What do I do?”
Yes, it was.
Go tell people who are going to spread it for you.
Mm-hmm.
What’s your go-to karaoke song?
Oh, my God. 100%. Mariah Carey, just any one of Mariah Carey’s, yeah-
Ooh, yes.
Yeah. Mariah Carey. Oh, okay. Okay.
Wait, wait one that I always go to, “Jolene, Jolene, Jolene-”
Ooh, golly. Okay.
Yeah. I love that. I’m obsessed with that song. I don’t know why.
Miley covers that one pretty well too, she does.
Yeah, she’s really good.
Where do you consider home to be?
LA.
LA.
What does a relaxing evening look like for you?
Oh, my gosh. If it’s cold, by the fire, with rain in the background.
If it’s hot, then like meditating by the pool with a little stick of fire, just like reading a book and just like with my son watching a movie, no phones, get all devices away from me.
I love that, you practice what you preach.
Oh, yeah.
It’s like the whole clarity in here, what everything you talk about is so much…
Thank you.
…specific to it.
Is there a celebrity you often get mistaken for?
Oh, God, yeah. She’s freaking amazing, but I’m complimented, Kim Kardashian. All the time.
I have a lot of taxi drivers be like, “Kim K. or like, “Are you related to the Kardashians?”
“Are you one of the Kardashians? Are you Kim?”
Yep.
Wow. Okay.
Compliment, I’m like, “That’s great. I’ll take it.”
I think that’s a big compliment for sure.
You speak multiple languages. Is that right?
Wow. You’ve done your research.
Yes.
I’m very impressed.
Yeah.
I just need to make sure I step up my game on researching people. This is like, you’re amazing. Okay.
I speak Spanish. I speak French. I speak Arabic, not much Arabic. I’m letting you know I’m not fluent in it, and I speak Greek. I understand a bit of Hebrew and Italian.
And Italian?
Yeah.
Impressive. What’s your favorite language to speak?
Italiano.
Yeah.
Or Arabic, actually. I love Arabic. I find it really just like, oh, it’s just so sexy. It’s just a really hot language. I love the words when they sing in Arabic,
I’m like, “Wow. I don’t know what the hell that part means, but you know?” Yeah.
Often, you’ll see on my Instagram, I’ll often be dancing to Greek music. I love that.
Yes. If you could have dinner with anyone living or dead, who would it be?
Denzel Washington.
Yeah. Huh? I’ll pull up a chair for that dinner.
I know. I should make that happen. Why have I not made that happen?
Yeah. Let’s make that happen.
Let’s actually make that happen.
Uh-huh.
I’m so down.
Okay.
Let’s actually legit, we can make that happen.
We will make that happen.
Yeah, let’s do that. Okay, so Denzel.
Okay.
Then let’s use somebody that I would’ve loved, Michael Jackson.
Hmm.
Honestly, I would’ve done anything to have met him. That would’ve been a very exciting- just, he changed the world.
He did.
When he died, I remember asking him to channel a lot of his positive energy through me. I actually remember that moment being like-
I know when Bob Proctor died, I also said channel whatever words you want through me, and the weirdest things happened. Two people came up to me within that first week saying, “You remind me so much of Bob Proctor’s work…”
Wow.
“…and now he’s gone, I’m coming into your program because-”
It was actually mind-blowing. I was like, “Wow, this stuff is really real.”
Channel it through me, wow, that’s deep.
What books are you reading now?
Dale Carnegie, How to Worry Less and Live More, and my own book, Be It Until You Become It, because there’s just so much in there, that’s like studies that I want to be really familiar with.
Who inspires you?
Yeah, they’re the main ones.
Okay.
But hang on, there was actually- loads.
Denzel, obviously. Massive inspo. Tony Robbins, I actually found really inspirational. I think he’s really cool. I spoke on stage with him recently. He’s really cool.
Who else?
It’s funny, there’s not so many massively inspirational things. We were still alive. There’s a lot of people who inspire me, yes and there are literally loads of people who I speak with on stages, and I’m like, “Oh, you inspire me,” but I think a lot of it is very ancient wisdom…
Sure.
…like Egyptian knowledge or ancient scriptures, things like that.
Yeah. What’s your favorite time of day?
I’m most productive in the morning, but I really love the afternoon when it’s all said and done. It’s like, I can go chill.
Just relax.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Not have to go…
3, 4, and 5.
…wash the dishes and do things that you don’t have to use your mind, right?
3, 4, and 5, that kind of time.
Mm-hmm. What message would you like to give to world leaders?
Spread more forgiveness and love, and stop pushing such topics which are down people’s throats, which yes, we have to deal with, but push forgiveness to people and love, because those are the two things that will heal the world.
I truly believe in that.
Good message. Do you have a favorite quote that comes to mind?
Oh my God, loads. I’m going to give you one which just feels good right now.
Mm-hmm.
“Happiness is like a butterfly. The more that you chase it, the more it alludes you. When you stop looking for it comes and rests softly on your shoulder.”
Love it.
What did you do as a kid that got you into trouble?
Oh my God. Definitely got drunk at 13, something ridiculous, and oh my God. Okay. What did I get drunk on, though, bigger question?
So, my parents had this whole wine cabinet and it wasn’t just wine that they bought and stuck on the shelf. It was old wines that were 50, 60-years-old, and me, went in there, bottom of the shelf.
“The ones that are the most rusty, the ones that got most cobwebs on in the wine cellar are 100% the ones they won’t notice, so let me just take out this guy. It’s from like 1920, who cares about this?”
I took it out, tastes vile, put it back. It was like, “This is gross.”
Then it’s like, obviously open-
[both laughing]
Drinking red wine. It was just the most horrendous thing, stealing their wine.
Oh my God.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My dad just-
Their most prestigious bottles, too.
God, then I did the same thing with my mom’s Vogue magazines.
She had all the collections of Vogue over all the years. She collected them at mountains high, mountains high.
One day I wanted to redo my bedroom, so behind my bed frame on the wall, I decided I wanted to stick “Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue, Vogue.“
So I went and cut every title of Vogue of every magazine and stuck them on my wall. Yeah.
Oh, boy.
My mom actually lost it with me, and then I ran away that night and hid under my bed because I was so upset by what I’d done, and was so scared that I’d ruined her life because of this, which I hadn’t, but the reaction was bad.
So, I went under the bed and then she called the police and then the police came, by which time I crawled out the bed, and I was like, “Sorry, mom. I was actually under the bed so it was like a double whammy of, “You idiot,” anyway, crazy things.
I love the stories. Thank you for sharing them.
What’s the first thing you say to yourself when something doesn’t go your way?
“That’s okay. That’s okay. That’s just the story that it is now, but everybody, everything is pure unconditional love, ultimately,” even if that’s not the story that they choose right now.
What do you wish more people knew about you?
That I’m a human, I actually am human, that I feel things, that I cry, that I get emotional, that I go through things and grow through things like anyone else does.
Is there such a thing as a coincidence?
No. Everything is destiny. Everything is happening, whether you know it or not, whether you feel it or not, everything is aligned.
It’s like when you meet up with a certain person, it’s not fluke. Obviously, they were brought into your path for you two to go on and do something great.
You just got to discover it. You got to find it out.
Exactly. I truly believe that. If you’re in an elevator with somebody, there’s a reason why you’re there together-
100%.
Just investigate, just be curious. Strike the conversation.
Wow. That’s deep. That’s really looking at everything.
I agree.
Right?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm. Just be curious in life.
Of all the things that you have accomplished in your life, what would you say is something that your mother is most proud of you of?
Oh, my career as a mindset coach, helping people.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
Helping people to achieve their dreams and their goals. Helping people, I’m saving lives on stage last week, I’m saving lives in my teachings and my programs.
She’s proud of me for that, because she’s a psychologist counselor, so she really believes in it and she’s just like an all-giving person, raised five of us. She gave her life to raise us.
Wow, seems like a remarkable woman.
She’s amazing. Actually, one of my inspirations I’d say, in some ways.
Well, Natasha, you are a firecracker of positivity. I am so honored that you came here to Hennessy Studios to be with us today.
Again, get the book, Be It Until You Become It.
You guys will love it. It’s honestly, for someone who wants to take action and commit today.
So, if you have found anything that I have said interesting, download the book, go get the book on beituntilyoubecomeit.com.
When you get it now, you get my free, bestselling program for free.
Do you?
Yeah, it’s completely free when you buy the book…
There it is.
…so it’s a gift and you can win the chance of having a one-on-one with me, which is, I would say, going to be a very powerful place for somebody today.
Awesome. I’m honored that I had the one-on-one with you.
Thank you.
For those that are listening, make sure you go follow her, and 11 million followers on Instagram become 11,000,001 and 2 and 3…
Thank you.
…and just keep growing because you’re so inspirational, so-
Thank you.
Thank you again for coming.
Thank you so much. It was amazing. I love your show and being here with you. Your energy is divine.
Thank you for having me. Thank you guys for listening.
Important Links
Natasha Graziano’s Official Website